He doesn´t live in Spain and he isn´t blonde with long hair now. He can´t see his family like before or meet with his friends like each week end. He can´t be with his girlfriend neither, the cause of all.
The only thing that he kept of the past it were too memories impossible to forget. His problem had been to send prison a drug gang in which his girlfriend participated in it. He had discovered them. He was threatened. Because of his declaration, the entire group will be in prison for many years.
His name is Jake from a year ago and he is brown with short hair. He works in a travel agency. Little by little he has had more new friends in the work and them goes to take something every evening. About love, he hasn´t pass his last relation.
He doesn´t like to have bodyguard all the day so he get away every night and he take a walk in his favorite central square. He is very happy to be able to choose the new city to live: Rome. And It wasn´t the first time he stay there.
Few months later, he was walking at night and he stopped in the third stand of the smaller street, like always. But that night was different. Suddenly he saw her, so blonde and rebel like their first time in the same place six years ago.
-I knew you would be in this place of the world- said her
-And I knew you would come here. It had been so much time without you
-Do I have to remind you that I was in prison?-remembered her
- We hadn´t another option to change our life.
Good imagery and use of dialogues. The ending is very intriguing. Rome is a good place to develop a love story. You can see how the characters are physically but also personaly. I didn´t change anything but take care of some english mistakes like ``he stays there´´ and little mistakes like that. However, perfect love story! Good work!!
ResponderEliminarIt´s an interesting idea but I think it could have been developed in a better way. Sentences could be shorter and the use of images could be more powerful. The ending is not very surprising but it´s a good point to choose Rome as the city where this love can be developed years later. I agree with Javi.
ResponderEliminarI also realize about some grammar mistakes! =)